


no sky can blind you now

by justawordshaker (thegloryofspring)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Beach, Alternate Universe - Bookstore, Aromantic Asexual Niall, Aromantic Louis, Ice Cream, Late Night Conversations, Multi, Neighbors, Queerplatonic Relationships, Stargazing, Trans Female Character, Trans Harry, Trans Louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-03
Updated: 2017-06-03
Packaged: 2018-11-07 23:53:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11069691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegloryofspring/pseuds/justawordshaker
Summary: Some nights, when even the sound of the ocean isn’t enough of a distraction, Louis goes down to the pier. It’s not someplace ae would go during the day, especially not in the height of the summer season. At night, it’s different. The sound of the waves is softer out on the pier. It’s empty and the fluorescent lights seem dimmer and the moon reflects off the surface of the water.It’s where Louis knows ae can always find Niall.An AU where everyone is trans and the world seems too big, especially next to the ocean and a starry sky. Aspec AU with ice cream dates, late-night talks by the ocean, and some time spent in a bookshop.





	no sky can blind you now

**Author's Note:**

  * For [neonmoonlight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/neonmoonlight/gifts), [cuddlingwiththemoon (orphan_account)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/gifts).



> I would just like to say an enormous thank you to @cuddlingwiththemoon (who is now, I believe, @neonmoonlght) who gave such an incredibly fantastic prompt. I hope that I did this justice!!! As soon as I read this prompt, I knew that it was meant to be mine because not only am I head over heels in love with the ocean and the sky, but I also run a bookstore. Thank you so much for the opportunity to get to play in this universe. I hope I didn't disappoint.
> 
> Thank you as well to the mods of this exchange!! I am so happy to have the chance to participate. :)
> 
> And AS ALWAYS an absolutely enormous thank you to [Nicole](http://www.teamokdynamite.tumblr.com) who not only betaed for me but also helped motivate me as always. 
> 
> Title from _House of Leaves_ by Mark Danielewski which is a lovely and horrifying book that everyone should read and then come talk to me about and has absolutely zero to do with this fic. Oops?

The sound of the ocean overpowers everything else at night. During the day, it never seems quite as loud. There’s traffic and people and so much noise that the ocean only ever ends up part of the chaos.

It’s different at night. At night, every other sound gets swallowed up in the crash of the waves.

At first, the noise was too much. Just cacophony in the quiet of the night. It made it hard for Louis to sleep. All the noises and thoughts bouncing around inside aer head only seemed to get louder with the crash of every wave. Every night Louis would worry if ae made the right choice. Every thought got stuck in a loop.

 _you’re selfish you aren’t worth this you should be at home you should be helping you ran away you ran away you ran_ **_away -_ **

It’s different now. The sound of the waves is more familiar. It’s like another blanket to throw on top of the bed when the night gets too chilly. On nights when everything feels too bright or sharp, Louis even opens the window. The sound smothers everything around aer, so ae can match aer breath to the crash of every wave.

It’s not always calming. The thoughts still get caught in a loop. Everything still feels like it is shaking apart inside Louis’ head.

But sometimes a wave doesn’t crash when ae thinks it will. And there’s a heart-stopping moment of relief. A brief moment of complete stillness when Louis isn’t sure if the next breath will ever come, but when there isn’t a thought in aer head either.

Some nights, when even the sound of the ocean isn’t enough of a distraction, Louis goes down to the pier. It’s not someplace ae would go during the day, especially not in the height of the summer season. Tourists flock to the pier to take pictures with the whole boardwalk behind them, blurry and out of focus and the ocean an afterthought in the corner of the photo. Kids are always running back and forth, darting between the fishermen.

At night, it’s different.

The sound of the waves is softer out on the pier. It’s empty and the fluorescent lights seem dimmer and the moon reflects off the surface of the water.

It’s where Louis knows ae can always find Niall.

“Hey, Lou,” Niall says softly, leaning against the damp wood of the railing.

“‘Lo, Nialler.”

Louis stands next to Niall, propping aer arms against the railing as well. They’re perfect mirrors of each other - same insomnia-messy hair, same glassy eyes, same folded arms against the railing. Louis’ arm brushes against Niall’s and something in Louis goes still at the touch.

They don’t always talk, on nights like this. Sometimes it’s enough, just to stand next to each other. Just to know that they aren’t the only ones who can’t sleep.

Louis doesn’t think this is a night like that.

Louis can’t remember how it started. Ae can’t remember what made it so bad that ae had to get out of aer flat, or if that’s when ae met Niall or if that’s just when they started talking to each other. It’s all a blur.

Louis supposes it doesn’t matter much anymore. Not so long as they have each other now.

Ae glances over at Niall and he’s not looking at the ocean. Niall’s eyes are fixed on the sky and Louis can see the stars shining in his eyes.

“Sometimes I wish I would have kept going with the whole school… thing.” Niall’s voice is soft and it makes something catch in Louis’ chest, just the same as the ocean rolling over and crashing distantly against the shore. “Wish I knew more about all them stars, y’know? Feels like all I do is look up there, but I don’t know anything about ‘em.”

Louis looks up, follows Niall’s gaze, wonders if there’s any way ae could possibly see the sky the way Niall does. Louis looks up and just thinks of aer sisters. Ae thinks of playing connect the dots with the freckles Lottie and Fizzy always got in the summer and the twins wanting to climb on top of aer shoulders because they thought they would be able to find shooting stars better if they were up higher.

Ae thinks of how much ae wants that again and tries not to think of how far away it feels.

“You could still go back if you wanted,” Louis replies. “Even just go and take some astronomy classes. That stuff is online, yeah? Got to be somewhere.”

Niall laughs and Louis feels silly. Of course Niall knows that. He doesn’t need Louis to point it out. But Niall’s laugh isn’t cruel. It’s soft and low and Louis wants to bottle it up and save it for a night when the sound of the waves against the sand isn’t enough to help aer sleep.

“Guess I could, yeah. Maybe Harry’s got a book on it or something. That’d probably be easier than a whole class.”

Louis hums and Niall falls quiet. He fidgets next to aer, shifts in that restless sort of way that Louis knows means he feels too boxed in. Louis doesn’t push. Ae does aer best to not push Niall too much. Louis knows how stubborn ae can be and how it can make people uncomfortable. Louis knows that Niall doesn’t let people into his space easily. Ae isn’t going to jeopardise that trust.

“Thought about calling my sister today,” Louis says, as offhand as ae can make aerself mention aer family.

“Yeah? Why’s that?”

Louis laughs and shakes aer head. “It’s really stupid, honestly. Saw someone today down at one of the kiosks doing makeup tests. Had makeup like Lottie wears. Had a moment, y’know?”

Niall nods and his shoulder bumps against Louis’. “Did you call?”

“No,” Louis replies, quicker than ae would like. “No, I… I don’t know. Just can’t bring myself to do it yet? Feels like as soon as I call home, I’ll feel like I have to go back.”

Niall’s quiet for a moment. If it were anyone else, Louis would be worried that ae said too much. That ae got too personal and the other person doesn’t want to say _fuck off and deal with it, then_. Niall’s different. He isn’t like that. Niall takes his time to think of what to say when it’s something important.

“You don’t want to call home because you’re worried they’ll need you back,” Niall finally says in a soft voice. It’s not a question, but it almost sounds like one.

Louis sighs. “I spent most of my life helping raise those girls. I had to go. For me. But it feels… selfish. To leave them like that.”

“Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish, Lou. They’re your family and you love them, but you shouldn’t sacrifice your own well-being for them..”

“Still doesn’t feel right, though.”

Niall hums next to aer and Louis looks down at the water lapping against the stained wood of the pier below them. Niall is quiet and the waves are a distant sound and all Louis can think of is aer mum and the girls and how much bigger they must be now and how ae doesn’t even have a number they can call right now -

“Lou,” Niall says softly, touching aer bare arm gently. “All right, mate?”

Louis closes aer eyes and let’s out all aer breath in a long sigh. “Yeah. Yeah, ‘m’okay.”

They fall silent again. Niall’s looking up at the stars and Louis is next to him, eyes fixed on the water and aer heart back home.

 

* * *

 

Louis wakes up to sunlight filtering through the curtains and aer cell phone ringing beside aer ear. Ae can hear the sound of the waves through the open window, but it’s muffled by the sound of tourists and seagulls swooping overhead. Louis doesn’t want to get up. The room is just warm enough that ae’s comfortable, but not sweating. The noise outside isn’t overpowering enough to be annoying yet.

But the phone is still ringing. It takes a moment for aer to realise that ae didn’t set an alarm - someone is trying to call aer.

Louis looks at the screen. Ae doesn’t blindly answer calls anymore, afraid that ae might get surprised by a call from home.

It isn’t home. It’s Liam.

“What’s on fire?” Louis asks as soon as ae accepts the call.

“You think I’d call _you_ if something was on fire?” Liam asks. “I know you, Lou. You’d just try and stoke it.”

Louis grins and shakes aer head. “Metaphorical fire, then.”

“I’m not sure that’s a word,” Liam replies and Louis closes aer eyes. Liam has a way of saying things sometimes that makes aer question if ae was actually right about something. It’s something in eir’s tone. The quiet surety, maybe. “Just wanted to know if you were free today. Harry could use some help in the shop. We’ve been busy and I’ve got to pick up our shipment for the cafe.”

Louis rubs aer eyes and sighs. Ae doesn’t have a problem helping out in the bookshop. It’s nice, most of the time. Louis never used to read much, but there’s something about the ocean that seems to make aer want to fill the time with paging through a book rather than flipping channels.

It’s just the tourists are _awful._ Louis doesn’t know how Harry stands all the stupid questions. It’s like she can read their minds and figure out exactly what book they want just from a word of the title or the colour of the cover. It’s a little like magic, sometimes.

“Yeah, I can stop by,” Louis replies. “Let her know I can be down in an hour or so.”

“Thanks, mate, I’ll owe you one.”

“You owe me more than one, Payno, and you know it.”

Liam laughs and it’s warm and bright. Louis is suddenly intensely grateful that ae found the one tiny American boardwalk that had people from home. Ae isn’t sure what ae would do without them all. Ae hopes the sudden soppiness is just from the late night and almost-early morning.

“Drive safe, remember to stay on the right side of the road.”

Liam grumbles, but ey doesn’t reply before hanging up on Louis. Louis laughs. It’s not _aer_ fault that Liam told aer about the time ey ended up on the wrong side of the road.

Louis sighs and runs a hand through aer hair, staying still and looking out the window for just a moment. Louis’ third floor flat is too high for aer to see the boardwalk unless ae looks down, but ae can still see the horizon. Ae can see the tops of the waves cresting and arcing and can hear them crash even if ae can’t see it.

Ae takes just a moment to watch. A moment to just lie in bed and not feel out of place, a moment to just _be_ and for that not to be something heavy and weighty and too much to handle.

///

Harry’s bookshop isn’t very big. It’s not much larger than Louis’ flat. It’s small and cramped in places and the shelves are tall enough that the light from the windows bounce just off the tops, casting the aisles in shadow even with the lights overhead.

But somehow it feels more like home than almost anywhere else on this American boardwalk. It feels bright even in the shadow, comfortable and soft even amidst the loud tourists and the business of the day. Louis loves being here, as much as ae would never admit it. It has the same quiet calm that the pier has at night. It’s their own quiet little nook in the corner of a busy and loud tourist trap.

“Hello!” Louis calls out as loudly as ae can as soon as ae opens the door to the shop. Ae can hear Harry curse and the sound of something falling to the floor.

Harry pokes her head out from around the shelves back near the kid’s books. Louis grins at her widely, hopping up to sit on the counter next to the register.

“Louis,” Harry says, her voice low and annoyed and sounding too much like Louis’ sisters whenever ae would tease them.

“Harry,” Louis replies, make aer voice go as deep as ae can to mock her.

Harry tries to keep a straight face, but Louis can see the corner of her mouth quirking up. “One of these days you’ll do that and I’ll drop something important and I’ll be properly mad, y’know.”

Louis shrugs. “Or you’ll drop something on your head and die and I can finally make a window display of the sex books and porn magazines in the shape of a dick.”

“They’re called sophisticates, Louis! You can’t call it porn,” Harry looks around carefully, then continues in a low voice, “it might offend Mr. O’Bryan!”

Louis bites back aer grin and rolls aer eyes. “Ah, yes. Wouldn’t want to offend dear, old Mr. O’Bryan. What would he do if he couldn’t buy two hundred dollars of porn mags with a check every week?”

“He has to be selling them,” Harry says, pulling her hair back into a bun so it’s off her neck. “No one can need that many magazines for themself, can they?”

“Maybe he’s very lonely. Or just a pervert. Those mags are disgusting.”

Harry frowns and folds her arms across her chest. “They’re very misogynistic. I wish I could just throw them out or burn them. They’re awful.”

“Nothing stopping you, mate, do whatever the fuck you want. It’s your shop.”

Harry rolls her eyes and turns back behind the shelves. Louis can’t see her, but ae can hear her picking up books off the floor. “Not how it works, Lou. Now get off your arse and help me, yeah?”

“Can I make a window display of books in the shape of a dick if they aren’t sex books?” Louis asks idly, hopping off the counter and leaning against the end of the shelf to grin at Harry.

She glares at aer and it just makes Louis grin wider. “They have to be _pyramided,_ we’ve gone over this. And no, it’s Thursday. Shipment came in last night.”

The bell on the door rings and ae can hear Harry go into her customer service voice - not that different from her normal voice, but a little higher and a oozing every bit of charm she can muster. Louis shakes aer head and turns to head to the back room. Ae might not mind helping Harry and Liam out every now and then, but Louis didn’t sign up to help customers. Ae loves them, but doesn’t love them enough to help customers without actually getting paid for it.

 

* * *

 

“Lou?”

Louis looks up from the tote filled with books. Ae doesn’t know how long ae’s been in the back, sorting books onto carts. It’s the one thing ae actually enjoys helping out with at the shop. Seeing what new things have come in, figuring out which section they belong in, trying to fit as many books onto carts as possible before rolling them onto the floor to shelve - it’s relaxing.

Harry’s popped her head in, hair falling out of a bun. “Got a visitor,” she says with a smirk.

Louis raises an eyebrow. “And?”

Harry just continues to smirk. “Nothing, nothing. Just find it _interesting_ that young Niall came to find you.”

“He’s older than you are and you know it,” ae replies, wiping aer hands on her pants. They feel dry and tight, probably from touching so many books. “And he’s our friend. Why is that _interesting?”_

“It’s interesting because he came to find _you.”_

Louis rolls aer eyes and stacks an empty tote on top of the tower ae already has tucked into a corner. “I’m going to assume that since you’re being difficult, I’m free to go. Good luck not burning your shop to the ground!”

Ae picks up a book that ae put aside before ae brushes past Harry and smirks at the offended gasp. “Louis, I would _never._ I _live_ here.”

“Yes. Yes, you do,” ae replies, “and if we’re being honest, we’re all starting to get a bit worried about that.”

Niall is just on the other side of the door to the back room and laughs. “Yeah, mate, you realise you don’t actually have to sleep here, right? You’ve got a bed.”

Harry pouts at both of them and folds her arms across her chest. “No one asked for your opinions, you know. It’s my shop! I’ll do as I like.”

Louis rolls aer eyes and laughs, draping an arm over Niall’s shoulders. “‘Lo, Nialler.”

Niall grins, still laughing a bit at Harry. “Hello, Tommo.”

He ducks a bit under the weight of Louis’ arm, bends so that he fits against aer. It makes something warm settle inside Louis’ chest and ae can’t help but lean closer to Niall. Ae makes sure to keep the book pressed against aer hip so Niall can’t see it.

“I’ve got something for you,” Louis says, as casually as ae can.

Niall raises an eyebrow, looking suspicious. “You do?”

“Don’t look so suspicious! It’s just a gift. Saw it and thought of you, y’know?”

Niall is still looking at aer suspiciously, so Louis holds out the book. Ae keeps aer arm draped over Niall’s shoulders, but watches his face carefully. It’s nothing big. Just a book Louis found when going through the totes for Harry. But as soon as ae saw it, ae couldn’t just put it on the cart. Ae knew that it was something Niall should have.

“I know we talked about it last night,” Louis said in a low voice, “and I found this going through totes for Harry. Just seemed right, y’know? Thought you should have it.”

Niall doesn’t reply. He holds the book in both hands, staring at the cover. It’s one of the new books, one that Harry technically shouldn’t have sold to Louis since it had a strict-on sale date, but Louis made her do it anyway. It’s a book on astrophysics. The first book Louis has seen on stars and space that didn’t look like a textbook.

“Will you walk the boardwalk with me? Had something I wanted to ask you.”

Louis quirks aer head to the side. “Yeah, sure. Everything all right?”

Niall nods and he’s _quiet._ Louis isn’t sure if ae should keep aer arm around his shoulders or not, let’s aer arm drop just in case. “Yeah, just… it’s important. Not bad, really. Just… important.”

Louis doesn’t reply right away. Ae hates that aer first response is to panic. It’s probably nothing. It’s probably fine.

“Yeah. Okay.”

Niall frowns and reaches out, wrapping his hand around aer wrist. “Really, Lou. It’s nothing bad. Promise.”

Louis takes a deep breath and shakes aer head. Ae forces out a laugh, trying to calm aerself down. Ae's fine. So Niall wasn’t as excited about the book as Louis had been when ae found it. And now he wants to talk about something. It’s fine.

“Yeah, yeah. Sorry.”

Niall slides his hand down from aer wrist to aer hand. He squeezes gently and Louis doesn’t know if he means to keep his hand there, but ae holds on tight anyway.

“Thank you,” Niall says softly, “for the book. I… thanks.”

Louis grips Niall’s hand and hopes it isn’t too tight. “Just made me think of you.”

Niall looks down at the book a little longer and Louis hopes it’s a good kind of quiet. Louis has a hard time telling, sometimes. “I’m going to keep it here at least while we walk. Don’t want to get it messed up.”

Louis nods and Harry swoops in out of nowhere to take the book out of Niall’s hands. She winks at them and then disappears behind the register. Niall’s fingers go tight around Louis’ and he turns, leading Louis out onto the sunlight.

 

* * *

 

They end up walking all the way to the end of the boardwalk, still hand in hand. It’s not something they’ve done before. Louis isn’t sure what to make of it. Ae doesn’t want to let go, but Louis knows that the warm feeling ae has from holding Niall’s hand is just because it’s nice. It’s nice to walk down the boardwalk with someone ae trusts and cares about next to aer. It’s just… nice.

Niall buys their ice cream and they walk out to the end of the pier. It’s not the same as the pier near their flat - there are more fishermen and it’s a longer walk to make it to the end. The sun is setting and kids are running past them, racing for the carnival rides and games that are all starting to light up. Louis still has aer hand wrapped around Niall’s even while they eat their ice cream, but it works. It feels right.

Louis tries not to think about how it’s a good thing ae’s not left-handed, but Niall is. How it’s perfect that they can both have their dominant hand free while they still hold on to each other. Ae knows how incredibly soppy and childish a thought that would be.

They stand together at the edge of the pier, leaning against the railing and squinting as the sun sets. It’s behind them, for the most part, but makes it hard to see whenever Louis tries to glance over at Niall.

It’s quiet, but not the same quiet as when they manage to find each other on sleepless nights. Louis shuffles a little closer to Niall so ae can press their shoulders together. Niall squeezes aer hand and Louis hides aer smile by finishing aer ice cream cone.

This quiet is more comfortable. Louis doesn’t feel as worried or weary. It’s a quiet that feels warmer and more… settled.

“My lease is up at the end of the month,” Niall finally says softly.

Louis glances over at him. Ae knows that they signed their leases around the same time. Louis’ lease is up in a few weeks as well. Ae hasn’t decided what to do about it yet. Whether to sign on for another six months or find someplace new or -

Well. Home has been heavy on aer mind. It’s hard not to think about maybe going back, even if the timing still doesn’t feel right.

“Got any plans yet?”

Louis watches as Niall uses his free hand to scratch the side of his head. A nervous tick. Louis squeezes his hand gently, trying to reassure as much as ae can.

“Yours is up soon too, yeah?”

“Yeah. About a month, I guess. Been trying not to think about it too much.”

Niall pauses and Louis feels like ae should be worried. He seems so nervous, it feels like Louis should be worried just because Niall is. But when Louis looks at Niall, all ae wants to do is hug him. Tell him _breathe, mate, it’s all right._ Ae wants to do something to make him laugh. Anything to make the worried look on his face go away.

Louis just squeezes his hand. Ae knows that it’s all Niall will need to say what he needs to.

“I don’t think I’ve met anyone who gets me quite like you do,” Niall says softly.

He turns to look at Louis and if ae could look away, ae would. Niall looks at aer in a way that no one else does. Like he can really see aer. Like he can see aer and wants to see more. It makes Louis want to hide aer face the way ae always wanted to do when aer mum complimented aer or when the girls were very small and would say nice things about aer with complete surety.

It makes Louis feel too big for aer skin. It’s exhilarating and terrifying.

“Not a hard thing to do, Nialler. I quite like getting to know more about you.”

Niall shakes his head minutely. “It’s not that. It’s not just… knowing me. It’s understanding me. Plenty of people _know_ me. But you… I don’t know. You listen, Lou. You really _listen_.”

“Of course I listen to you. You know I love you, yeah? That’s what you do when you care about people.”

The sun has almost entirely set, but the last vestiges of orange light shine in Niall’s eyes. Louis knows ae can be loud and abrasive and an absolute pain - but this is simple. Niall’s important. Niall is important, so of course ae listens to him. Of course ae tries to understand him.

Niall laughs and for the first time in hours, let’s go of Louis’ hand. He steps forward and kisses Louis’ cheek before ae has a chance to respond at all. All Louis can do is blink.

“I love you too, Lou. You’re the _best_ friend, you know that?”

Louis tries to hide aer blush and shrugs. “I mean, I suppose I’m not the worst friend someone could ask for - “

“I mean it,” Niall repeats, still smiling at aer. “You’re my best friend. That’s why I want to ask you something.”

Louis leans against the railing of the pier, trying to pretend that ae isn’t completely flustered by Niall. “Didn’t have to butter me up to ask a simple question,” Louis grumbles half-heartedly.

Niall ignores aer just like ae knew he would. Niall isn’t nervous at all anymore and Louis has no idea why. Louis feels silly and embarrassed and silly for _being_ embarrassed, but ae can’t help but keep looking at Niall. He’s grinning at aer and the sky is dark enough behind him that the stars are all shining and illuminating the fading blond in his hair.

All Louis can think of is how ae wants to connect Niall’s freckles, just like ae would do with Lottie and Fizzy.

“You know I don’t want a relationship like Harry and Liam have,” Niall says. He sounds confident, but Louis can tell that he is entirely serious. Whatever he’s asking, this is important. “But I’m shit on my own. I just… I’m no good on my own.”

“That’s shit and you know it,” Louis interrupts. “You - “

“Lou, _listen,_ okay? I know you get it because it’s the same for you. We don’t want any of that romance bullshit. Not really. But I don’t want to be alone. I… I don’t think you do either.”

Louis feels like an idiot for not catching on sooner. Ae doesn’t want to get aer hopes up, doesn’t want to think that Niall is asking what ae thinks he’s asking, because if he _isn’t…_

“What’s your question, Niall?” Louis asks, aer voice so soft that ae’s worried Niall won’t be able to hear aer over the gentle sound of the waves.

“I want to live together,” Niall says firmly. “We want the same things, you and me. And we don’t want the same things too. And… you’re the most important person in my life. You’re the one I care about most.”

Louis can’t help but duck aer head. Ae can’t look at Niall right now. If ae looks at him, ae _will_ cry. Ae doesn’t want to cry. Ae’s not sad. Ae isn’t anywhere _near_ sad. Tears don’t have any place here.

So Louis ducks aer head and leans forward until ae can rest aer forehead against Niall’s shoulder.

“You’re the person I care about most too,” Louis says softly. “I… I still don’t know what you’re asking, though. Not entirely.”

Niall rests his hands on Louis’ waist and Louis keeps aer head pressed against his shoulder. “It’s not that complicated, Lou. Just want to share more of my life with you, I guess? Dunno, when I asked Bressie about it, they said it was something people do. Relationships without the romance. Just want to be able to have more of you in my life.”

Louis let’s out a long breath. Ae never knew how to put it into words. The feeling of needing someone there, of wanting to share parts of aer life with someone, but not knowing _how._ Not knowing how to do that without feeling like it was too much.

Ae thinks ae could have that with Niall.

“It’s all right if you don’t want to,” Niall says, rubbing his thumb against Louis’ waist. “I know you only just got your own space. I’ll still love you the same if you say no.”

Louis chokes out a laugh and ae can feel the tears in the corners of aer eyes. Ae steps forward, wrapping aer arms around Niall’s waist. Aer head is still pressed against his shoulder and Louis isn’t sure whether ae wants to laugh or cry more.

“I’m saying yes,” Louis replies as simply and directly as ae can. Ae doesn’t want to hurt Niall, not even by mistake, by making this into a joke.

Niall laughs, loud and bright in Louis’ ear. “Good. That’s good. I already started on figuring out what the new lease would entail. Hate to have all that work go down the drain.”

Louis laughs and steps backwards, shoving Niall playfully. Niall grins and grabs aer hand. The sky is clear now and dark enough that it feels like they can see every star there is to be seen. Louis keeps looking up while Niall settles against aer side, looking right up with aer.

“You know I’m going to drive you crazy with that book,” Niall says, voice soft and grin audible. “I’m going to read it a thousand times and tell you everything until you want me to shut up about it forever.”

Louis smiles and turns from the sky to look at Niall. He’s staring up, cheeks flushed and eyes bright. The moonlight is reflecting off the waves and lights Niall’s face up. If Louis squints, ae thinks that Niall’s freckles could be part of the constellations above them.

_Niall should meet Mum and the girls._

Louis is startled by the thought. Ae is more startled by how much ae _wants_ that.

“Could I introduce you to my family?” Louis asks softly, before ae can overthink it.

Niall turns to look at aer. “Is that something you want? Or is it something you think you should want?”

Louis pauses. Aer gut says _no it’s what_ I _want._ But Louis knows that ae can be blinded when it comes to aer family.

But Louis wanted to call Lottie just yesterday. Just to hear her voice. The only thing stopping Louis from making the call is how afraid ae is. Afraid of what they’ll say. Afraid that what they have to say will mean ae’s alone.

But Louis isn’t alone now. Louis doesn’t have to be afraid of being left alone with Niall next to aer.

“It’s what I want,” Louis finally says. “I want to call them. And I want to tell them about you. I want them to meet you.”

Niall smiles. “I’d like to meet them too, then.”

They’re quiet for a few moments and Louis feels too big for aer skin again. The crashing of the waves is a distant, but familiar sound and Louis matches aer breathing to it. Niall’s shoulder is warm against aer side and Louis feels more at home than ae has since before ae left home.

“Want to break into Harry’s store and mess with her displays?”

Niall laughs out loud and shakes his head. “Lou, she’d kill us.”

Louis grins. “You know you want to, Nialler.”

He shakes his head and laughs, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah, okay. But only if we help her clean it up tomorrow.”

Louis smiles and pushes away from the railing, holding out aer hand to Niall. He smiles over at aer. The stars are shining and the lights of the boardwalk are glittering behind them and Louis knows the world is theirs for the taking.

**Author's Note:**

> please note that whereas I am queer, I am still a cis woman. let me know what you think of this incredibly self-indulgent lil fic!!!


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